In the Search of Love …

Leaving the soul behind,
I traveled the heights of Himalaya,
Swam the depths of Ganges,
Crossed the vastness of Sahara,
In the search of love.

Walked I,
Through the thorny scrubs of Deccan,
The labyrinths of Sundarbans,

Eerie alleys,
Green meadows,
Bustling Metros,
I meandered through all!

Alas!
Love hid itself,
Amid the obscurity of denseness.

Muddled thoughts,
Hopeful soul,
With no heart to budge.
A bleak remembrance of
Grandma’s tales,
Traversed me
To another land
To witness Aphrodite,
The epitome of love.
Yet …
Feelings of mine,
Didn’t get any dope.

Dispirited,
My foot strolled me,
Back to the soul,
Where my existence reside.

Epiphany it was!
To feel the dope of love
In the soul I left behind.

Love travels from Shoulder to Shoulder ...

 

 “Hum ek baar jeete hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai, aur pyaar wo bhi ek baar hota hai.......”    Sheetal spats out the coffee she was savoring on, hearing King Khan make such a silly statement about love. 

“What’s wrong Sheetal?” asks Tani shocked at this sudden burst. 

“Did you hear that dialogue Tani?” inquires Sheetal. 

“Oh come on, what’s wrong in that dialogue Sheetal?” Tani scorns at Sheetal, “I mean, doesn’t it sound all goody goody and eternal and romantic, and goose bumpy and ...”

“Cut the crap Tani.” retorts Sheetal. 

“I know darling, you have fallen in love four times or was it five? whatever …” chuckles Tani,  “and have fallen head over heels all the four times, right?”

“It’s five, Tani,” grumbles Sheetal.

“Ya right, five times, that too all were eternal love right Sheetal?” Tani laughs hard rolling on the couch, not able to control it anymore. 

“Shut up Tani! Will you?” retorts Sheetal, “Yes, I had fallen in love and fallen in five times and that too deeply and eternally in love with all of them. What’s wrong in that? Huh? 

“Phew!” sighed Tani. 

“You know what Tani, love can happen anytime, anywhere with any person,” says Sheetal gesticulating her hands philosophically.  “I mean look at me. Do you think I am a kind of a person who is not committed, who doesn’t love deeply? No! right?” 

“No! Never!” giggles Tani.

“It’s just that when you break up in one relation, you search for a shoulder. Just then some angelic guy from the crowd offers you their shoulder to lean on and you fall on him completely and … there begins a new courtship. “ 

“And then?” inquires Tani curiously.

“Then again the guy, being angelic in nature, realizes after a certain point—a point where they taste the fruit from the forbidden tree—that he is doing wrong to his family; he is doing wrong to my family; he is doing wrong to such a sweet person like me; and God knows what all … he moves out of the relation for my good sake you know?”  

After a short pause, as if thinking and smiling over some incident, continues Sheetal, “Further he cries. I cry. We both cry. Our friends cry. Sad love songs get some good TRPs. Depression happens. And then … he gets a shoulder. I get a shoulder… and the same shoulder story goes on.”

“Oh! Is that so?” inquires Tani confused and surprised and somewhat excited as well. 

“Yes!” crows Sheetal with a proud look on her face as if she has done some revelation before Tani which was unknown to her poor little friend. 

Keeping her coffee mug down on the teapoy, clearing her throat, Sheetal furthers to speak, when suddenly a bell on the door cuts their vital conversation. Tani rushes to open the door, leaving Sheetal behind distressed on being cut betwixt the important lesson she was giving to Tani. 

“Oh welcome Rahul,” Tani greets the guest at the door and offers him to make himself comfortable on the couch where Sheetal was lying lazily till now. Smelling the endless stream of questions arising in Sheetal’s mind, Tani gestures her to join her in the bedroom to help her get ready. Hastily, Sheetal passes through the alley between the couch and the teapoy, stumbling upon the guy nervously to reach out to Tani. 

She grabs Tani by arm tightly and pulls her inside the bedroom and inquires, “Who is this handsome man?” 

“Are you dating him?” 

“What is his name?” 

“Is he the same guy you said you love and can't live without?” 

A long pause stays leaving only Sheetal's heaving audible.  

 Tani interrupts the pause sheepishly and say, “He is my new shoulder Sheetal … you know?” 

"Huh?" Sheetal fumbles .... 

 .... 
And they laugh out loudly!

… And they lived happily ever after

“Hello …. “

“Nisha, is that you?”  Rohit couldn’t believe his ears. Sweat trickled down his forehead. Moist gathered in his parched eyes. Ground swept off from beneath his legs. He had known ...  very closely known that husky voice before. There was a sudden silence on both ends of the receiver …. a silence that freed only the loud beats of their hearts.

With trembling hands, trying to hold the receiver tight, Rohit hushed onto his phone receiver again, “Nisha, is that you?”

“Hmmn … Rohit, it’s me … your Moti (fat girl)," minced Nisha, after a long pause, hiding her dam of emotions within her heart. Rohit could sense the stored tears trickling down her soft red cheeks. But he stood there helpless and blank not knowing what to say.

“Hmmn … Uhhh…hmmn, Moti,” Rohit fumbled. He was unaware about the emotions that gathered in his heart. Anger or love ... he didn't know what was overriding him now.

With a crackled voice, he retorted, “Where were you?”

“Why did you go away just like that?” …

“How come you thought of me now? … Huh?" Rohit yelled at her, his voice nearly getting choked. Regaining his courage, he, again was about to say something, when unexpectedly she said …

“I love you Rohit.”

Shivers went down his spine. The anger that had swelled up till now vanished in the thin air. The explanations he sought to have from her for these past 15 years, now, didn’t stand any relevance. Those three magical words from the girl whom he loved the most from the time when he didn’t know what love was, stifled every pain and anger he carried all these years in him. Tears that had welled up 15 years ago, when the soft grip of her hand loosened from his on the immature passage of their school, streamed down his bearded manly cheeks.

Nisha felt guilty. She knew she was at fault. She tried to console him. “Rohit, please don’t cry  … I know I can’t even say sorry for leaving you so coldly that day without even giving a proper reason but …” She knew words wouldn’t give him the 15 years of his life. She knew she had been the cheater in the game. Yes, in the game of love … The love which they loved at the time when they didn’t know the meaning of love. The love they carried in their heart when they were hardly in the 5^th grade of their school. The love he proposed to her on the wintery evening of the 6^th of December, somewhere in the year 1998, while on a school trip to the Karnala bird sanctuary. The love they pledged to live together forever. The love they carved within the heart shapes on their school desks. The love that caressed her when he lovingly called her Moti. The love they lived only with a glimpse of each other from the corner of their eyes, fearing the world around. The love they sensed when their hands, naively, brushed against each other’s while passing the swarming corridors of their school. The love they loved, when ignoring everyone, after her stage performance, she walked down head high and innocently sat just beside him in their jam-packed school ground. The love they lived when she sneaked into her friend’s house to hear him pamper her on the phone. The love they loved in the land of their dreams …

… But on the other side of their dream, they knew not, reality waited ... waited to hit them hard. Yes, it hit them hard on face when her family got crumpled in the financial debt; when her father breathed his last breath not bearing the debt; when her mother toiled hard to exist hand-to-mouth. They had to move … she had to move … move far away… miles away from Rohit. Suddenly the priorities in her life had changed, which, even she didn’t comprehend. Destiny threw her miles away from her Rohit. She didn’t know whether they will ever meet again. He didn’t know whether he will get a chance to hold her tight again. They didn’t know. Their life was not theirs anymore. Destiny ruled it. 

Now years after, the same destiny tossed them back on the same intersection of road from where they parted away last.

Now, she was here … a stone’s throw away from him. Years had passed, but the same day, 6^th of December, was here. Destiny had decided this too.

Gathering all courage in her voice, keeping her fingers crossed, she whispered into the receiver, “Rohit, will you be my valentine?”

He went silent. She felt parched. The phone stood dead there for hours together … may be it was seconds but those seconds seemed hours to her. She had waited long. He had … or hadn’t he? She knew not. She wanted to know.

Not able to bear the stillness, Nisha cleared her throat to say something again, when suddenly a meek, choked “Yes” came from the other end of the receiver. A long pause followed … Butterflies that fluttered in her stomach all these years, now released suddenly. The fear of loss buried in them now turned into the joy of inseparableness. Now she knew … he had. He did … He did wait for her.  She could sense the joy welling up in her love. Yes, her love; whom she had loved more than what it meant to be loved. She felt a wave of breeze blowing towards her; drawing her back to the land of dreams where Rohit was waiting to pull her in his arms, to kiss her hard, to hug her tight, and to shower on her the eternal love they missed to live so long.