Adu's first official coloring competition!

Competition? Not again! This was the first thought that had flashed my mind when I saw the note that Adu’s teacher had sent along with him regarding some coloring competition. He has just entered his nursery section and the world has already grabbed him into the web of competition. Sigh! The thought was very painful to me. And not that he had any option to back out. The competition was compulsory. A compulsory competition!

I don’t know how Adu felt about this competition thing. But I can surely tell how his mother (i.e. Me) felt about it! She felt nauseating! Yes the same feeling she (I mean I, i.e. Adu’s mother) used to get when I was in school. I remember how proud my mom used to be about my singing and dancing skills. Hence, you can imagine how much this so-called word ‘Competition’ was a part of my life. I had big time stage fear then but I had to perform because that was one thing that gave me a chance to stand out from my friends. And for me and my parents, I was something unique who was born to do unique things! And what more, if I perform I had to win, yes! Otherwise, I would bad mouth all the judges; I would cry my heart out! Phew! Yes, for me I was the best! And I had to win! Otherwise the world would go topsy turvy! But Alas! Frankly speaking it was only few times I had won any competition. Thus, the hatred towards competition!

Anyway, coming back to present, willingly or unwillingly, I had to prepare Adu too for his coloring competition. Yes, coloring competition in which I used to score a big zero in my school days Ahem! Frankly put, it was my maid who prepared him for his coloring competition. She taught him how to color within the lines and boundaries and God knows what all! And to my surprise, Adu really did well in that. I mean he really colored within the lines and boundaries, which was not the case till April, 2011, if my memory is not wrong! I remember when I had gone to my mom’s place, my aunt (who is known for her pestering stunts) had told me seeing the way Adu was squiggling the paper with colors, to teach Adu to do coloring within the lines and I had bullshitted her saying he’s just a kid. And now I just can’t believe that the same Adu has learnt to color within lines. Sigh! An eye-wetting moment, isn’t it? Yes it was for me!

Finally, after a very good practice session, Adu colored well in his coloring competition but not as well to win a first or even a second prize. Somewhere, it did hurt me (yes, all those typical mom’s feeling and all) but when I saw his colored sheet displayed among his friends’ sheets (not though on the main notice board of the school) it was a proud feeling for me. I could see the innocence of my kid in that sheet who doesn’t know anything about competition. The rabbit that he had colored in pink and red displayed a child’s imagination. It displayed his love towards what he was doing! It displayed his pleasure! It displayed his happiness! It displayed a moment of peace for me! It displayed creativity at its heights! And he was already a winner in his mother’s eyes!

My first open day!

It’s a day worth mentioning! The feeling of motherhood was at it heights today. Yes 30^th July, 2011 is my first open day at school. No! don’t get me wrong! It was Adu’s open day today but for me too it was the first of its kind. You can call it my first step towards being a responsible mother, keen on knowing her son’s progress in school.

Doesn’t it all sound crazy? Yes to me at least! It seems like yesterday when I used to accompany my mother to my school. It was never a quivering moment for me then because fortunately I always faired well in my studies and other activities. Coming back to present, it was neither a tension-filled moment for Adu as well because his ability to not perform was miles away now as it was just his first step to his school life. However, this day was a paroxysmal moment for me as a mother, as hitherto it was only as a kid I had been to school but now I was entering this divine place as a mother, not just a mother—a responsible mother. The feeling is inexpressible for me!

When I entered Adu’s class, my legs were shaking , my hands were twitching. Even in this cool monsoon day, I was sweating like a pig! Earlier, I was merely a carefree kid who didn’t have to worry about performance, competition, being smart. But now I was a mother whose upbringing and teachings were at stake. My mind constantly prayed to see my son performing well, hear teachers saying good things about him, see him be the best in the class. Seeing other kids doing things better than Adu was painful to this selfish and ambitious mom. I forced and pushed Adu to be a part of the group, to stand head high in front! To recite poems perfectly! To speak English flawlessly! Sigh! I didn’t leave any stones unturned to behave like a conventional Indian mom.

Yes! I did all that my mom did to me when I was kid and for which I used to be angry. But now I realize how my mom felt then! Yes, all parents—be it the parents of this generation or the earlier generation wants the best for their children. We, as parents, forget or can say deliberately forget that our kid is just a child who has all the right to see the world in his/her own way. We forget that he/she is an individual. Now, I understand that parents don’t force themselves on kids. It just happens. It’s inbuilt in all parents. But now when I take this moment to write this post, I make a note in my mind and heart that being responsible doesn’t mean to be forceful on our kid. I should stop seeing my son as a competition material. I should stop expecting more and just attend the coming open days as a chance for me to see my kid growing from a tiny seed to a big tree!