I watched
Pathermari today. There was a kind of emotion that I couldn’t relate to but I felt
it deep. I felt it not because I have been in the same situation as Pallikal Narayanan
(played by Mammootty) in the movie but because I know many such men from my
family itself who have left the cocoon of their birthplace at a very ripe age
of 16 and 17 with the burden of an entire family on their shoulders. My father,
my kochachan, my Pradeep chettan – these are the names of few people who come to my mind. My
father has spent, I think, more than 40 years in Mumbai. He was a good writer.
He loved studying but he couldn’t as he had to leave Kerala to earn for his
family. The only savings he has today are his wife and kids and a disease which
is incurable and is gradually taking him closer to his death. My kochachan (my
dad’s younger brother) has spent the best times of his life away from his wife
and kids. These people worked not to save and invest but to spend on their
family and fulfill their needs. My Pradeep Chettan is a heart patient but he is
still working in Sharjah, after two open heart surgeries. Trust me; these
people have worked in worst situations than we can ever imagine of. Each one of these people are Pallikal Narayan, who have lived or are still living, selflessly for their families, away from them, yearning to be with them.
In earlier
days, families used to be big and the responsibilities always used to be dumped
on the shoulders of the elder ones. These young boys, at the age when they are supposed to be enjoying their life or at least lead a simple, happy life, slog day and night, away from their
house, and send money and gifts to their families, like trained robots. Kids,
today, are career and money-oriented. They won’t do anything under anyone’s
pressure. But people like Narayanan, my father, my kochachan leave their village
and go to big cities, not to explore their dreams but to feed their parents and
younger ones. They work like a donkey, get their sister’s married, get their
kids educated, fulfill their parent’s wishes. They live contented fulfilling
the duties, not realizing people only look forward to their money and gifts
they brought and not them. They live in this hope of going back to
their native one day and living there happily with their wife, kids, sisters,
and parents. But that never happens. When one wish is fulfilled, they think now I can go back to my native and live with my family. But no! another responsibility arrives. When that is fulfilled, another arrives. The responsibilities wait in line to be dumped on their shoulders. The only dream they dream, every single day and night, is to return to their village. It doesn't happen but they live with that hope. Of course, some Malayalees have done
really well for themselves outside their state. But people like Narayanan never
make it. For they work only to fulfill the wishes of their near ones. If only
they had dreamt of accumulating wealth for themselves, build house for them,
then they too would have flourished. But no! The family never allows them to
dream. It would be a sin if they ever think for themselves. One after another the
sacks of responsibilities are laid upon their shoulders. Epiphany happens only
when other family members start addressing themselves as I and not We. It’s my
house. It’s my property. It’s my money. This is the time they wonder, wasn’t I
slogging for ‘We the family’ and not ‘I, Me, Myself’? If they happen to utter a
word about their hardships for the family, everyone declares them as selfish,
calculative, and God knows what!
Anyway, the
movie is an eye opener. It made me realize that pains of these people are far
bigger than ours. They never show it. I really empathize with people staying
away from their families just to feed them. I hope all the family members of
these people do not just consider them as money minting machines and empathize
and support them for their efforts. Don’t be selfish sluts when your brother or
your sister or anybody from your family is slogging the shit out of their life
to give you the best in the world.
Kudos to
Mamukka and the team for making such an amazing movie! A must watch.
