It’s a day worth mentioning! The feeling of motherhood was at it heights today. Yes 30th July, 2011 is my first open day at school. No! don’t get me wrong! It was Adu’s open day today but for me too it was the first of its kind. You can call it my first step towards being a responsible mother, keen on knowing her son’s progress in school.
Doesn’t it all sound crazy? Yes to me at least! It seems like yesterday when I used to accompany my mother to my school. It was never a quivering moment for me then because fortunately I always faired well in my studies and other activities. Coming back to present, it was neither a tension-filled moment for Adu as well because his ability to not perform was miles away now as it was just his first step to his school life. However, this day was a paroxysmal moment for me as a mother, as hitherto it was only as a kid I had been to school but now I was entering this divine place as a mother, not just a mother—a responsible mother. The feeling is inexpressible for me!
When I entered Adu’s class, my legs were shaking , my hands were twitching. Even in this cool monsoon day, I was sweating like a pig! Earlier, I was merely a carefree kid who didn’t have to worry about performance, competition, being smart. But now I was a mother whose upbringing and teachings were at stake. My mind constantly prayed to see my son performing well, hear teachers saying good things about him, see him be the best in the class. Seeing other kids doing things better than Adu was painful to this selfish and ambitious mom. I forced and pushed Adu to be a part of the group, to stand head high in front! To recite poems perfectly! To speak English flawlessly! Sigh! I didn’t leave any stones unturned to behave like a conventional Indian mom.
Yes! I did all that my mom did to me when I was kid and for which I used to be angry. But now I realize how my mom felt then! Yes, all parents—be it the parents of this generation or the earlier generation wants the best for their children. We, as parents, forget or can say deliberately forget that our kid is just a child who has all the right to see the world in his/her own way. We forget that he/she is an individual. Now, I understand that parents don’t force themselves on kids. It just happens. It’s inbuilt in all parents. But now when I take this moment to write this post, I make a note in my mind and heart that being responsible doesn’t mean to be forceful on our kid. I should stop seeing my son as a competition material. I should stop expecting more and just attend the coming open days as a chance for me to see my kid growing from a tiny seed to a big tree!
I claim to be a good writer but where is the writing? Yesterday I went for an interview and when the HR person of that company asked me to pen down an essay, I couldn’t write even a single word, leave the whole essay. I think it’s high time I start writing something everyday so that my hands don’t come to a halt when someone asks me to write something. I need to shun my laziness and utilize my time more fruitfully. I know I can but now I need to know when I can. So today’s resolution …. Every day I will pen down at least something that will come to my mind!
Get set go!
